Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

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Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:12 pm


((Continued from Chapter 2))




I have come out from a state of confusion into some clarity.

I have purified myself from a great measure of fear, and will continue to do so.  With the invaluable help of my esteemed Master Crideas, who insisted that his apprentice break through fear by setting me to deliberate work to manifest the fire spells that I had found so foreign in affinity to my nature since the beginning of my existence.  His explanation that even shadowy beings can wield the full spectrum of the Flow, led me to act upon the hypothesis that my inability with fire manifestation could be from such a blockage, and I set my will to the testing grounds.

I may remember this as being a very uncomfortable period in my education, where fear and the instinct to self-preservation at first fought to suppress my ability to manifest and safely manage the fire that I was now intent to work with.  I was under constant threat of evaporation if I were too near my manifestations, and I did suffer many injuries.  Thus, logically, I've concentrated on those fire spells which either manifest remotely from my person, or leave my fingers too quickly to burn me, and are specifically targeted so as to not change the general conditions of the entire environment to my own detriment.  I did finally become reasonably adept at the very useful Flame Arrow manifestation.  And also, incidentally, discovered how to prepare myself to better withstand my own Sunburst spell.  But most importantly, I perceived and overcame fear.

After my Master's illuminating teaching on this subject, I have striven to discipline my mind from the affect by fear.  It is simply an exercise of will.  Of course, with depth analysis, as knowing oneself prepared --by knowledge, strategic and tactical training, and appropriate armaments-- is of course vital in the process of disarming fear.  The instinctive reaction of fear is at its best minimized to a pure signal of warning alarm of some danger, fault, or insufficiency, rather than allowing it to be a blockage to accomplishment.

I have moved from the realm of unconscious instinct to the realm of deliberate conscious will.

I have purified my mind.  After Master Crideas recently took notice of my new skin tone, a change of which I had been unaware, my analysis of this led me to the realization that it was connected to my mental purification, purification of the fear and other low vibrational materials from my vehicle.  My mental discipline, of strict adherence to truth and logic in the thinking processes, apparently affects my vehicle.

I will monitor this evolution to be certain that it does not harm Ramana, my twin sister, as it were, for we are but rearrangements of each other, and of course, my continued existence depends on her well-being.  However, since having opened a window of perceptibility between our discrete consciousnesses, I do not perceive that she is harmed.  I postulate that this change that has occurred to me is simply the result of increasing the efficiency of the transformational and mutual containment process.  Better inhibition of any leakage, improved exclusionary containment of the lower nature, i.e., Ramana's physical and emotional components, which are put into planar storage, one might say, when I manifest.  The confluence of influences and energies that created a separate manifestation who awoke to being a separate will, i.e., myself, was a perfectly-formed concept (one might even hypothesize it a deliberate willful act of magic of some consciousness), but required a bit of settling-in.

Also, fortunately, I perceive that Ramana is no longer drained and fatigued as when first our wills were negotiating the time-sharing issues for manifestations of our individual vehicles from the one source.  I believe that we have come to a satisfactory mutual accommodation arrangement, and it is for the most part currently harmonious.  It would not do for it to be otherwise than as harmonious as possible, since her life satisfaction and fulfillment, despite being quite different in quality from my own, leads to my own, and we must naturally work to our mutual benefit, or accomplish little due to the impairment of the effectiveness of both our vehicles of manifestation.  It is a simple efficiency analysis that leads to the conclusion of cooperation.  Also, facts and logic affirm that I am a manifestation for the purposes of the one of which we both are manifestations.


Last edited by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
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Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
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Registration date : 2011-08-29

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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:14 pm


I am satisfied to now have a fuller explanation of the events that created me.  I must credit the invaluable assistance and generous contributions of several others in my research and analysis.  Starting with the hypotheses of my creation put forth first by Master Jay Braysin, himself a shadowchild, and then by Master Crideas (I refer his journal entry upon his initial speculations).  Then the granting of permission to access various rare tomes on planar mechanics and other related topics in the libraries of Mistress Grace Fularras and Master Crideas.  And very significant in my research is the new access to memories and information between Ramana and myself, which access is entirely due to Master Crideas' diligent efforts to break through the unconscious geas compulsion of the extra-planar sorcerer and discover the truth to share with all involved, in doing so also breaking the block that had kept Ramana and myself unaware of each other.  Then I also must not forget the contribution of Dae, our faithful panther companion and protector, whose apparently new intellect enabled her to provide essential clues from what she witnessed at the initial transformation of Ramana into myself.  I must, of course, also trumpet the extraordinary act of the water elemental Oremaa that is at the very basis of all this....

I now understand that my creation was due to a selfless act of protection by the water elemental that had lain latent in Ramana since Toril, whose mandate since its inception has been to protect Ramana physically and support her emotionally.  (A psychic emotionally-intelligent water elemental with the rare gift to be able to reflect the deep psychic content and issues of anyone who steps into her watery aura or views her mirror face.  This creature is an entire study unto itself, but such is a discussion for another time.)  Although it had been thought that this unique water elemental had been lost, since its focus ring did not arrive with Ramana in Aenea, from these actions it was shown to be actually inside Ramana, but dormant for lack of a magickal focus to form a separate physical vehicle.  But even in its unorganized state, it had enough will to strive to do whatever it could to protect her.  Its instinctive intelligence, to react with the apparently multi-faceted plan that it did during the event of my creation at the Inn, is quite remarkable, and verges upon strategic reasoning.  The fact that during the reorganization of Ramana in the diverting and saving event, it dredged up some deep racial magic seed (i.e., the inherent touch of magic in the Elven blood) in Ramana in order to push it to the forefront to create a mage, is significant, I believe, showing an intent to itself create the magick focus for itself to be able to eventually reform.  Also, it seems that Ramana was rearranged not only to make actual a latent magical talent, but to clear her mind (of emotions) and enhance her intellect towards what would be required to figure out this issue of the elemental, and also to eventually be able to address other complex issues, including that of planar travel.

It is curious that Ramana did call out in despair for a mage in that moment before her death in Castle Greyskull, which led all to believe for a time that it had been Ramana's wish alone that had created me.  However, we now know that, although this was a compatible goal, and it can hardly be coincidence that a great many needs may have been answered by this event, it seems that the greater part of this process was not immediately and directly for the benefit of Ramana's own obvious desires (for a mage to rescue her from Castle Greyskull in that particular distress, or her long-standing intense desire to know magick herself, especially in order to escape Aenea and travel the planes to search for Lord Kastian).  Instead, it seems that it was directed more by Oremaa's aforementioned apparent main strategy to enhance those latent qualities in Ramana to create a mage to facilitate the water elemental's consolidation into a separate physical vehicle, so that it might again be able to completely fulfill its mandate to protect Ramana, and this accomplished within the opportunity provided by that terrible emergency necessitating protection of Ramana's essence.  Perhaps the elemental, due to being aware of the initial teleportation extraction attempt during the Castle Greyskull event, and the failure resulting in the internal fracture of Ramana, had time to plan what it would do should another extraction attempt happen again to her (now with an fracture fault line in her psyche), which did indeed occur.  I am careful to not attribute the elemental with a conscious objective intellect, but its actions at the very least were remarkable instinctive manoeuvres.  Or perhaps the instincts were entirely Ramana's, deep unconscious instincts communicating directly to the psychic water elemental within her.  Then again, the elemental's actions may have been impelled by some god.  There seem to be many players in this drama, many wills -- Ramana, Oremaa, the shadow dragon sorcerer, my own nascent self, gods undetermined, and even other forces as yet unidentified-- and to discern their respective influences has been no easy task.

Nevertheless, I can at least with relative certainty state that, in short, I am a separate will created as the result of an artificial encapsulation process, whereby an instinctively protective intelligence of water successfully hindered a malevolent drawing process through the planes.  In an instinctive circumvention to save Ramana, Oremaa acted to surround and shield and slipperily redirect Ramana's shadow-converted essence, extruding into containment in this domain a veritable pocket plane of shadow energy.  A sentient pocket plane which would be able to act as a body vehicle, imprinted with, and saving Ramana (saving not only in the life-line sense, but also in the recorded-and-stored sense, preserving all of her qualities, some active and some dormant).  I am a being born from shadow and water.

My body appears to be physical, but it is actually a pseudo-physical copy of the meat body done up in the substances of shadow and water and nonphysical energies.  Corroboration is in the facts, for example, that after having reflexively begun breathing, and later trying eating, I find that I do not actually have to do either, and prefer not to.  Eating seems a very crude experience that produces no benefit for me, and the matter designated as 'food' passed through me seemingly substantially unchanged.  The gross mechanism of absorbing body repair components through breaking down physical animal, plant, and mineral materials seems useless to me.  I am otherwise sustained.  Whatever tether I might have to the physical seems in essence provided by Ramana and our regenerative symbiotic water elemental Oremaa.  However, there do seem to be some reinforcements that I receive from the environment.  I do experience something analogous to a thirst, a 'sensation of lack', which necessitates that I ingest water from time to time, although I do not excrete any in the ordinary digestive manner.  I also seem to be able to osmotically absorb water from the environment, in the same way that Oremaa does, albeit on a much smaller scale, as I cannot actually enlarge my vehicle by accumulation as my water elemental companion can.  I feel quite renewed by these absorptions of water.  Also, I theorize that I may even be osmotically ingesting shadow or darkness energy, as I do find myself feeling regenerated when in the presence of shadow (even isolated from water).  In any case, my vehicle is strengthened in those environs which foster the existence of water and shadow, and I am weakened and potentially dangerously dissipated by those environs which evaporate water or shadow.  A bright hot sunny day is to me a cruel desert, and an overcast moist or dark rainy one is my perfect habitat.  As an interesting side-note, my body, being rather ethereal and liquid in nature, is also for the most part unsoilable, i.e. environmental dirt and dust do not cling to me.

The created water-encapsulated pocket plane of shadow substance provided a vehicle to preserve the integrity of Ramana's consciousness.  But the new sentient formation felt different, it no longer identified itself as Ramana.  When I became aware, I felt myself to be a new and unique will.  The lack of awareness in the beginning of any previous memories likely also contributed to fostering this perception of being a new tabula rasa person.  Think of it like a soap bubble on a child's bubble loop, where from its focal point of origin, i.e., its creator the loop device impregnated with the elastic soapy substance, the bubble may choose to expand to either side, depending on which way the wind blows, if you will.  And each bubble, existing non-simultaneously, could they but think, might perceive itself as the unique manifestation of its creator; or even upon being told of its opposite, would still think of itself as a different creation than its opposite.
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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
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Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:15 pm


It is such a deep and multi-faceted sequence of events, so perhaps it might be useful if I elaborate the chronology.

Before the Castle Greyskull incident, the catalyst had already been set in motion some time before.  Later after the geas of compulsion upon Ramana was ended and we established a connection between our separate minds, I was able to probe our memories to piece together what Ramana had learned of the sorcerer and his intentions, but had been commanded to forget.  In my methodical analysis of the situation, I have striven to minimize conjecture, but I have been obliged to make use of some careful deductions.  

Apparently the entire chain of events which led to my creation, had begun when a shadow dragon sorcerer sent out magical probes into the multiverse, set to detect areas of like nature as his own shadow nature, in his search of suitable realms to potentially extend his dominion into.  One of the probes discovered a tiny signature of shadow plane substance, made obvious by being against the background of a universe that had been found to be naturally devoid of a shadow plane, the universe containing the world of Aenea.  The sorcerer would have naturally been curious about this planar contamination signature.

Actually, my research leads me to believe that he would have found it extraordinarily noteworthy, as the dominant theory at this time is that it is highly unusual for planes of a universe to penetrate into other universes.  In fact, naturally-occurring instances are unknown.  Planes of a universe intruding into other planes inside the same universe, that happens frequently enough.  It was just this kind of rift intrusion into Toril that long ago had led to Ramana's contamination with planar material.  But to find a piece of a plane non-native to anywhere in the universe that it has been found in, that is highly irregular.

So the sorcerer directed his attention to this spoor of shadow substance, Ramana's spoor, and he managed to open up a larger band of perception to study the phenomenon.  Finding it due to a shadow contamination of a living Elf girl, he became fascinated with her.  His fascination turned to an obsession, and he decided that he wanted to possess her.  The evidence available suggests that the sorcerer seemed to think that the female ranger would be perfect for many of his purposes, from being a capable thrall scout in this or even other universes, to experimentation upon her to gain potentially useful data of the effects of shadow infiltration inside a physical being, to perhaps even being a pleasure slave or suitable for mating.  He wanted her and so he intended to claim her and use her.

He first opened up a way to communicate his will to her mind, to extend his influencing magic into her by its affinity with the shadow taint in her forebrain.  He might have also been able to tap into her mind and see through her eyes to some extent, perhaps using the same avenue that had made Ramana able to see through to the Shadow Plane (when she was residing back in the universe containing both her Physical Plane homeworld of Toril and the Shadow Plane), i.e., the contamination of the riftstone dust around her optic nerves.

As would have likely been his customary procedure whenever finding a suitable thrall in his mental explorations of other planes, his first overt act was to compel her to find a shadow dragon egg, preferably, or lacking that, at least a black dragon egg, as an undeveloped dragon would naturally be the most compatible vehicle for him to project his mind into, in order for him to personally experience in another universe.  He could direct the thrall to an egg imminent to hatch, as his procedure would have likely been a simple projection of his mind into an egg right at the time when it was ready to hatch, when he could easily suppress the weak native nascent self.  An infant was the weakest of wills, and to suppress it before it awoke to its own separate sense of self and keep it suppressed would be a concentration of control that he could maintain across planes for up to several weeks.  It was a compromise of tractability versus the capability of the vehicle, but fortunately a dragon infant was capable of moving about on its own, and flying, within hours of its hatching, and so was not a completely helpless vehicle, as was the case with the infants of the humanoid races.  The hatchling would be under the protection and care of the thrall who obtained it, and this would make for greater possibility of exploration than if he chose to inhabit an egg still in a dragon's nest.  When the sorcerer’s concentration would inevitably approach its limit, then he would release the young dragon.  Though it might be confused for a time, it would eventually reassert its own self and develop fairly normally after that.

Months went by without Ramana being readily able to find such a vehicle for him to sojourn in her universe.  During this time he had of course been studying her, and after some mentation and research, the sorcerer came up with the idea that, because of the shadow taint in Ramana's forebrain, it might be possible to create a planar conduit to draw Ramana through to his universe and plane, by homing onto and anchoring it to the shadow residue present in her.  He decided that it was of no matter for him to be able to experience this Aenea himself, as it contained no native shadow plane habitat for him and consisted mostly of wilderness and scattered populations of lesser beings.  It was of little interest, and since his focus of interest was really only her, he could simply obtain her and forego the visit.

It would also be necessary to convert her physical vehicle to material more suitable for living in his domain in the Shadow Plane, a conversion that may have usually been a procedure for after a teleport, when the proper shadow substances were present.  But since Ramana was contaminated with shadow material, a conversion could theoretically be accomplished by extracting and directing the shadow energies of the residue in her head to use as a locus or nucleus to gather (as like attracts like) and consolidate shadow into a subtle form.  And, in point of fact, etherealization of her body might be the only way for transportation through the boundary between universes to occur, as that boundary was much more impermeable than mere boundaries between planes.  Thus such a conversion would be not only more suitable for permanent residence in the intended destination on the Shadow Plane, but would also be of a finer substance that would be easier to teleport than a gross physical body vehicle, therefore why the conversion was obliged to be done in the first stage of the transport.  He settled on a magickal procedure and carefully set up the macro interlinked spells of the transformational process.  The initiation of the process was to be triggered as a contingency transport when she might next be near to death, as that would be when her will was at its weakness, and would be unable to resist the process.  From across universes, negating her awareness of his machinations, he managed to put his spell program upon her, and then waited.
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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
Epic Level

Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
Time Zone : US Eastern Time
Registration date : 2011-08-29

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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:17 pm


Then came the incident at Castle Greyskull, the first confluence of disparate forces.  This event has been already been described in great detail in Ramana's diary, so I will summarize here.  (For quite a while after Ramana fell through to Aenea, she did not understand how she was shadow-jumping, as it felt different from the universe containing Toril and the Shadow Plane that she was able to traverse due to her contamination with its substance.  It is more than I should go into at this time, the exact mechanics of her ability here in Aenea in the context of the portable shadow plane matter in her head, the makeup of planes in this universe, and the principles of the Dark and the Light, but suffice to say that when she was in Castle Greyskull, she still thought of her ability to transport as simple shadow-jumping, i.e., transit through a shadow plane, thus how she explained it in her diary.)  

The significant part is, that as Ramana was dying under the barrage of the lich and the beholder, the contingency spell of the sorcerer activated and tried to act upon her to convert her and transport her through the planar conduit.  Unfortunately, just as Ramana had discovered a second earlier, there were wards against planar travel in the lich Lord's domain, thus the sorcerer’s spell encountered resistance to its pull upon Ramana.  Whilst simultaneously trying to convert her, separate the converted her from the physical body, and draw off that converted substance to transport, the spell ramped its force of drawing to break through the wards, and tried just long enough that the pull under these conditions forced a fracture in her psyche, before her soul was removed to the Great Hall.  It had been thought that the two different negative and draining rays focused on her in that moment, along with the draining effect of the evil sword she had been carrying, had been the only factors contributing to her feeling of a split in her psyche during the death experience.  Although it seems true that there were maleficent influences from those factors, at this time the evidence favors the main mechanism of this actual psychic split being the stress of the pull of the sorcerer’s spell against, and trying to overpower, the wards that it had encountered.  But it could very well be that those spurious negative energies passing through her body from the attack that she was under, may have been factors which were unquantified variables in the sorcerer’s delicately balanced equation, which led to its failure.  And let us not discount the possibility of some self-preservational reaction from the resourceful Oremaa within her.

Ramana appeared in the Great Hall of Zolares as a partial being.  She recounts it as hours, but since time is unjudgeable in such a place, I would offer that all her perceptions likely happened in a matter of minutes, if not just seconds.  But, for however long it was, there was a piece of her missing, having become unintegrated, disassociated, or dislocated, as it were.  It may be true that Ramana did indeed hear a discussion among the gods, for whether Ramana chose to accept the Gift of Zolares, or chose to move on to the heavenly planes, she would have to be repaired, veritably reassembled, in order to live or even continue in any thriveable whole form at all.  It is interesting that she reports a feeling of significant loss of will and drive during her death experience, and I wonder if perhaps it was at this point that pre-requisite conditions had already been created for a separate will and persona to eventually emerge.

Obviously Ramana was returned to the physical plane, by the grace of Zolares and who knows who else.  But a disjunct, a veritable fault-line, remained along where the two broken parts of her psyche had been rejoined.  When Ramana returned to camp, our faithful companion Dae knew that something had happened.  I am still trying to determine exactly when and how our panther friend acquired sentience (upon which I plan to query her further to discover), but she at least perceived that Ramana had suffered some catastrophe and was subtlely changed.  Animals are known to be able to instinctively sense psychic aberrations.

After the failure of his process, whether the sorcerer experienced relief that his prize had been returned to life, I cannot say.  But the next day the sorcerer decided to try again, and likely influenced Ramana to sleep a full day's rest to recover beforehand.  And even when she was made to arise, he kept her in a docile unconscious somnolent mode.  This would have been made easier by the state which typically lingers after a death experience, wherein one feels mentally foggy and of low energy, and it is likely that he was trying to exploit that before she might return to her peak strength of self.  He commanded her to prepare for leaving her home universe, and then to go to a suitable planar nexus site to wait for transport.

Since my sentient panther friend Dae is unequipped by Nature to speak in any complex language, I have magically tuned a telepathic automatic-writing instrument to her mind so that she may record her thoughts in a journal, and I have read what Dae has described of the event that she witnessed in the Inn.  (Her journal account is more detailed than the testimony she gave to Master Crideas and Ramana, which was transmitted to me.)  Incidentally, it might be noteworthy that the items that Ramana packed in her travelling-bag were not her usual possessions, and I wonder if I had already become a nascent will buried in her unconscious, already able to influence her actions without even being really aware yet as a separate entity.  Or perhaps it was by Oremaa's instigation, as remember that our water elemental friend was within her, exercising its own will in some protective plan.  In the unconscious state, Ramana would have not only been susceptible to the sorcerer’s will, but also to any other, Oremaa's or mine.  (Hypothetically, if the subsequent incident of the separation into individual vehicles had not occurred, it might well be that I could have developed as a split personality in Ramana, two wills in one body, that would compete or find symbiosis... or, my potential individuality could have been suppressed and rejoined and re-identified with the original owner of the vehicle, becoming just another voice in her thoughts.)

Ramana was directed to go to the Sleeping Dragon Inn and led to stand in the exact spot where people usually fall into this world, as it is apparently a relatively stable nexus of permeability between planes (and likely between universes), and without any wards, of course.  The sorcerer’s spell procedure successfully initiated a conversion of Ramana's body into one of shadow substance.  This shadow substance vehicle, containing all of Ramana's attributes, was ready to be separated from her physical vehicle, and extracted in the teleport to the other universe.  Presumably her grosser physical vehicle would have been left discarded or disintegrated, if this transport had gone according to his plan.

Although the evidence supports Oremaa as being the one responsible for the modifications to Ramana to increase her sensitivity to the Flow and distill her intelligence, it is remotely possible that the sorcerer might have been responsible for incorporating such modifications to Ramana in his conversion process, in order to make her more suitable as his skilled scout, or more suitable to breed magickally-aptituded progeny for the shadow dragon mage.  Although the fact that increasing the magickality, intelligence, and will of a thrall would surely have been counter-productive to his domination of her, makes it seem highly unlikely that it was his doing, unless he was acting stupidly.

The conversion accomplished, the next step was the transport extraction of Ramana in her shadow body.  Dae has written of witnessing a small vortex, in essence a portal, opening up in Ramana's forehead --this would have been the activation of the drawing process through the planar conduit, the conduit anchored in this plane to the shadow planar crystals inside her forebrain.  When this transport was initiated, it was then that Oremaa moved to encapsulate and redirect Ramana's essence to prevent it from leaving this universe, using the water elemental's own innate ability to consolidate water into a vehicle for itself in order to encapsulate Ramana's rescued converted shadow substance vehicle and form it into a body that would be durable enough to exist in the physical plane.  At the same time performing a storage of Ramana's 'leftover' physical form and mind in some planar folded bag of holding inside of this shadow body, so to speak, thus the strange planar ripple in Ramana's form that the cat saw.  Indeed incredibly quite remarkable.
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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
Epic Level

Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
Time Zone : US Eastern Time
Registration date : 2011-08-29

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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:19 pm


It was really at this point that I was born.  But I was born in an ignorant state, and what internal motive forces I had came from pure instinct.  Thus I moved in a simple state, like a newborn, but unlike a newborn I had a fully-developed adult body and some instinctive or remnant understanding of how to utilize the sensory inputs of and work such a vehicle.  And I had the intelligence of the protective and compassionate Oremaa inside of me and surrounding me, influencing my mind which was unconscious and un-self-aware and with an undeveloped will, and therefore directable, and also influencing my actions, even so far as to buoying my new body up in actual physical assistance.  In fact, I must credit that she was the one entirely responsible for the actions of my body before I awoke in the bedroom at the Inn, and Oremaa only gradually let go of her control in directing the actions of my body during the process of my physical training.  Like a mother she birthed me from her enclosing watery womb, and like a nurserymaid she looked after me and helped me develop my elementary physical skills like walking.

As to the remnant understandings that I possessed, it was information more of a felt nature, not of a mental one, more like body memories than intellectual knowledge.  When one's body has already memories of training in some discipline, an amnesiac will certainly find that he has a 'talent' for a discipline he cannot remember practicing.  Thus it was for me, even if those 'body memories' were not mine, or were a copy of someone else's.

My mind was a blank slate, I was a tabula rasa being set ready to discover itself as a self.  With Oremaa's influence and instruction, it was only a matter of hours before I was working my body vehicle in a minimally-adequate manner.  My sense of being a self was also developing very quickly over this same timespan.  Like a newborn, I had started out in an unconscious mode, not aware of myself as a being, reacting to the environment as if it were all myself, everything subjectively perceived.  It was only gradually while learning to work my body that I also took ownership of it with a sense of a separate independent self, with a will of its own.  This was the process which formed a new center of consciousness, a separate will.  Then as Oremaa weaned me from her support and will directing me, she went back into a completely passive mode inside me.  I've since come to see that Oremaa is not one to exert her own will while her host's will is active, whether that is myself or Ramana.

The shadow mage had not given up despite the failure of the transport, and the next day he came for his shadow-converted thrall, i.e. me.  Ever bolder in his planar venturing, this time he managed to project his will into this universe to form a temporary tenuous vehicle of shadow from available materials, and it seemed intent to capture me and likely drag me back to his universe.  Oremaa intervened again, this time actually able to arise from out of me to encounter the shadow vehicle to interfere with it and repulse it.  She held it off long enough for me to flee from the area, and I think that as I escaped the vicinity of the planar nexus, the sorcerer’s projection must have failed him because he did not pursue.  I assume that Oremaa eventually found me again and reabsorbed back into me without my conscious awareness.

After this incident, the shadow mage managed to re-establish a better mental connection with Ramana and myself, although I was unaware of it at the time, as he didn't interfere with or contact me in any way after that.  This would have re-opened his window of perception on the situation, and he was probably surprised and fascinated to discover that Ramana's physical vehicle had actually been preserved, and there were now two alternating manifestations of her, one with a physical body, and one with a shadow body.  He likely decided to not try to teleport either of us any further, as he could not be sure of the consequences.

Instead, he needed to manifest himself in Aenea to view this fascinating experiment.  He would ordinarily arrange his domain so that he could be away for several weeks and then put his own body into a deep meditative stasis, in order to project his consciousness only, to join his mind with an appropriate vehicle in the target plane.  As previously mentioned, the vehicle in which it would best suit him to do so would be in the unformed consciousness of a hatchling dragon, preferably a shadow dragon, in which he would exert his will to become the master of its body vehicle, suppressing any competing new self from forming in the hatchling.  The new vehicle would be young and weak, of course, but it would be useful for observation and moving about to examine near environs.

But to investigate the curious phenomenon of Ramana the Elf girl, and have his mind totally free to experiment or perform magick, it simply would not do to have to maintain continuing concentration in a host to suppress its native self, in the manner of the usual simple method of visiting for a short time via inhabitation of a borrowed local vehicle.  Such a method was good enough for mere observation, but not for complex mental tasks.  If he desired to have the option to sojourn for any great length of time, and be irremovably the master of the new vehicle, without having to constantly concentrate in setting his will against that of the original occupant, then the ritual was more complex, and specifically required the vehicle to be in his domain.

Of course, teleporting the ancient shadow dragon sorcerer’s own huge grosser body to another universe was impractical in theory, if not actually totally impossible in fact.  Even though he was a shadow dragon, a semi-ethereal creature, wherein his body was of a relatively fine substance.  As was a shadow dragon egg.  He wondered if he could transport a relatively small egg of a shadow dragon to himself.  If he could transport the egg to himself, he could perform a bonding ritual that would firmly anchor his mind as the master of the vehicle, and leave him free to concentrate on other things.  The last step of the ritual would send the egg back with his mind firmly entrenched in it, while his own body went into stasis.  He would have Ramana look after the hatchling dragon and adopt it as a companion, ignorant of whom it actually was, and so he would be well-placed to observe her and interact with her.

In the egg, the native nascent self would be emptied, and then a powerful lock of suppression would be placed in its lower mind to prevent any re-initiation of an independent self.  Thus the native self would be entirely destroyed, and so the body would be all his, for as long as he wished.  His own original body could remain in stasis for quite some time without degradation.  Certainly well long enough for him to satisfy his curiosity.

So he moved to renew and reinforce the geas of compulsion upon Ramana to obtain an egg of a shadow dragon, while he continued to formulate the method of transport.  He instructed her to deliver it to the planar locus at the Inn, and if all went as he expected, he would transport it to himself to perform the ritual.  Incidentally, he must have decided that her original physical person was the better persona for the purpose, seeing what an inept child that the alternate shadow manifestation of her was.

Since its initial institution, the geas had been on Ramana for quite a while before it was detected, and it was finally Master Crideas who happened to do so.  Immediately motivated to right this injustice, he was fortunately aided to understand the situation with the help of Dae, who managed to communicate what she had seen of my creation event at the Inn.  Incidentally, along in his investigation, he managed to break through the mental block that originally existed between Ramana and myself, through telepathically conveying to us his perceptions of us, and sharing each of our own testimonies with the other.

Suffice to say, that not long after, the domineering sorcerer was most effectively unmade by Master Archmage Crideas Bane, as he noted his perceptions in his own journal which he has shared with us.

It is interesting to note that in the universe from which Ramana came, there was a Shadow Plane.  In this universe there is not.  But I have become a representative pocket sample of that Plane.  I am a being created by shadow and water.  One could say that shadow energy is my father, and water is my mother -- Oremaa the water elemental who encapsulated that shadow seed to form my body vehicle.

Here ends my report of the chain of events of the remarkable transfiguration of Ramana which created myself.  The situation is now relatively stable, with us experiencing and learning as two separate but interdependently-joined persons.



Last edited by Ramana Jala on Sun Jul 14, 2013 7:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
Epic Level

Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
Time Zone : US Eastern Time
Registration date : 2011-08-29

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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:21 pm


[Copies of this journal entry to be forwarded as a report to:  Master Crideas, Lady Ramana, and Mistress Grace, the latter with leave to share it with Master Jay, informing him that Ramana and I are each a face of but one coin, metaphorically speaking.]
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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
Epic Level

Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
Time Zone : US Eastern Time
Registration date : 2011-08-29

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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

Post by Ramana Jala on Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:42 pm




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Ramana Jala
Epic Level
Epic Level

Female Number of posts : 1033
Location : Earth, Sol system, in the Mutter's Spiral galaxy
Main Character : Ramana Domefarar -
Publicly a Ranger, privately an Opportunist.
Lay Follower of Jewel,
Sensate and practitioner of the Way of Pleasure.

Other Character : Ranara Duauth -
A being created by shadow and water, a wizard.
Is actually another persona of Ramana.

Other Character. : Dae, the panther,
companion to both Ramana and Ranara,
and the best real eye-witness to the
strange circumstance of those alternating personae.

Other Character.. : The Personae of Ramana Jala
NWN Username : Ramana Jala
Time Zone : US Eastern Time
Registration date : 2011-08-29

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Re: Living Ramana's Life - 3 - Clarity

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