Suck is....

1st: I end up bathing twins that have been thoroughly enjoying pasta with red sauce. (ok, this one is normal and not so bad).

2nd: The wife comes in, quite angrily, with my eldest (8 year old) offspring and an electric hair trimmer. She proceeds to cut his hair short (making a huge mess on the floor and all over the child). It seems he'd taken it upon himself to test the trimmer, and had basically given himself a bald spot near his left temple.

3rd: The second offspring (5 years old), comes crying to the bathroom. Looks like he's pinched his thumb in a door or something. He's sent off to run it under cold water.

4th: Just finishing with oldest offspring's new trim (sending him off to the shower in the other bathroom), I turn around to find one of my youngest offspring has grown quite relaxed in the bathtub and left a deposit. Time to pull the twins from the tub and re-wash them in the sink. Then comes a fight to get diapers and pajamas on (they had been enjoying the bath and didn't want to be taken out of the water).

5th: 5 year old is still crying with his hand under the running water. Nurse wife takes a closer look at his thumb. Not a pinch. It's a bad 2nd degree burn from touching a hot hair-straightening iron thingy (probably turned on by his older brother). So, now I've got a still-crying 5 year old with an ice pack against his thumb, two tired (but clean, again) 1.5 year olds, a newly-trimmed 8 year old that isn't happy, an unhappy (and tired, since she worked all day) wife, and a heck of a headache.

6. Make the 8 year old sit with his crying brother while we hastily put the twins to bed. Walk out as they start to cry as the parents leave the room and close the door (this is typical nightly behavior, they eventually go to sleep after 2-10 minutes (unless they are growing new teeth, then it takes longer plus medication)).

7. Send the 8 year old to bed (instantly making him angry, since it's about 20 minutes earlier than normal).

8. Sit with the 5 year old for a half hour while waiting for the ice (and full doses of both Advil and Tylenol) to kick in. Then sit around (feeling lousy about allowing children anywhere in the house besides the famly room and their own bedroom), while the wife spends time with him tucking him into bed. Amazingly, he falls asleep after about 15 minutes (probably relief from medication kicking in + exhaustion from crying for more than 30 minutes straight).

9. Headache decides it wants to hint at a migraine. Time for a shot of caffeine + Advil + Tylenol.

10. Oh, right. Gotta go clean and disinfect the bathtub. Crap...out of vinegar (my disinfectant of choice...kills just as much harmful stuff as bleach, but doesn't ruin my clothes or lungs). Oh, well. It's 11 pm and the store is still open for another hour.

I'm thinking later I may try to get online and kill something. Or go to sleep. Whatever.